Showing posts with label others. Show all posts
Showing posts with label others. Show all posts

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Digging for the Good

Andrew Carnegie was one of the richest men in the world at the beginning of the 20th century. He made his millions with keen business acumen and a sharp eye for developing the skill and effectiveness of the people around him. In fact, at one point, he had 43 millionaires working for his companies -- an unheard of occurrence back then. Depending on what index you look at, one million dollars in 1910 is the equivalent of between $25,000,000 (using the consumer price index) and $481,000,000 (as a percent of the US gross domestic product)!

Carnegie was once asked by reporter how he managed to hire 43 millionaires. He responded that none of them were millionaires when he hired them but observed that, "You develop millionaires the way you mine gold. You expect to move tons of dirt to find an ounce of gold, but you don't go into the mine looking for the dirt—you go in looking for the gold."

How often have we seen the "dirt" in other people and assumed that was all there was? How often do we stop digging and move on? Strip mining for gold creates holes in the earth thousands of feet wide and hundreds of feet deep using equipment larger than houses. Our personal gold digging landscape may look only like a sea of gopher holes in the grass.

The difference between the holes is belief. Gold miners dig broad and deep because they know gold is there. If it's easy to see potential gold in someone, we tend to dig deeper too. However, look for the gold in everyone, and not just the easy-to-see stuff. Invest and get digging!

 

Saturday, August 17, 2013

One Foolproof Way to Get Your Kids Talking

Top Ten lists are quite popular. I thought about holding on to the idea for this article until I had nine more to go with it, but I'll throw caution to the wind and shrink that top ten list down to a "Top One." With kids all over the country starting back to school and dinner tables needing conversation starters, here is the number one way my wife and I get our kids to talk about their day...

... Insert drum roll... (I'm a band director. I can't help it.) ...

We Ask Questions.

What? That's it? Yep.

You see, what I realized at dinner sometime last year was that the asking part of "asking questions" is simple. "How was your day?" or "What did you do today?" are the perennial, no-thought-to-them greatest hits of question-asking. Unfortunately, those kinds of general questions usually get one kind of general response:

 "How was your day?" "Fine."
"What did you do today?" "We did some math, we had recess, we ate lunch..."

However, it is the "what" that we ask that can drastically improve the answers we receive. In my case, when I started asking questions that focused on one specific adjective, my children told my wife and I a whole bunch more than they would have otherwise volunteered. These adjectives don't need to have anything to do with school. As a matter of fact, it is probably better that they don't:

What did you do today that was fast?
What did you do today that was dark?
What did you do today that was rough?
What did you do that made you think?
What was sweet today?
What did you do today that was loud?
What did you do today that was tiny?
Etc. Etc. Etc.

Open ended questions like these are fun for kids to answer because they can be creative with their answers. My wife and I never know how they will reply. Not only that, but many times asking one of these questions is the beginning of a mini conversation that continues for quite a long time.

For example, when we recently asked my 6th grader "What did you do today that was dark?" she answered that the lights were turned off in her health classroom for a video. From there, she told us what the video was about, and that a boy clear across the room that had passed-gas rather loudly. From there the tangents flew from all five of us nearly as fast as that 6th grade boy's flatulence, and we had a great time as a family.

There is one caveat in asking these types of questions, though. By their nature, adjectives can describe more than one thing or event. Avoid boxing in your child's response when they ask questions like "What do you mean by 'shiny?'" Encourage them to answer however they want to. Asking "What was shiny today" could result in answers ranging from an art project to a teacher's bald head. It's all good. Ask your questions without preconceived notions.

I encourage you to give these kinds of questions a try. Ask as many as you can each night. You will be surprised at what you find out!

How do you get your kids talking about their day? Please leave your ideas below in the comments section!

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

What Will Be Your Legacy?

Legacy: [LEG-uh-see] anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor.

I am about half way through my career as a music educator. The school year is about to begin, and I am reflecting more this year upon where I have been and where I am going. In a previous post I waxed nostalgic about turning 40, and wrote about my optimism for what lies ahead. But what WILL lie ahead? How will I shape it? Who and what will shape me? No matter your age or profession, these are deep and important questions to ponder.

We are the sum of our experiences, and the resulting wisdom of that tally influences the choices we make today. I can't help but think that if I can approach each day as another opportunity to build my own personal legacy, I will be a better person.  

Legacies take many shapes and come in many different flavors. An elderly woman may leave behind a legacy of inspiring work for the poor upon her passing (Mother Teresa). An elderly man may leave behind a strong, principled family that goes on to dominate a country's political life (Joseph Kennedy). A misguided egomaniac can leave a path of death and destruction for millions of people who do not share his beliefs (Hitler, Mao, Pol Pot, Slobodan Milosovic.) A math teacher in Lincoln, Nebraska can ignite generations of young minds to love math and the discipline it brings the mind (my wife's teaching icon, Mrs. Penner).

There are any number of people in your own sphere of awareness (living or not) whose life legacy resonates in yours. Further, your existence not only has the ability to leave a legacy, but WILL leave a legacy for others (if it hasn't already!)

Every decision you have made and will make continues your personal legacy design process. If you're not happy with your progress or how it might look right now, there is time to change it! Unfortunately, however, we don't know how much time we have until our life's legacy project will come due. Avoiding procrastination in legacy building is in all our best interests!


Sunday, August 4, 2013

Care for the Caretakers

Did you know that many times one of the dirtiest parts of the kitchen is the sink? Seems counterintuitive, doesn't it; the place where the cups, plates, silverware and pans are washed is sometimes the dirtiest.

However, after finishing the pots and pans, we often pull the drain plug and walk away. Residue is left behind that we may not see. After a few days of repeating the same cycle, there might be some light stains on the steel of the sink or a little discoloration on the porcelain.

The sink has done its job, but in the process, it got dirty and we didn't notice right away. Effort by an outside force must be made to clean the sink after it has done its job.

All this ran through my head as I did dishes today. This summer, the high school band that I teach lost two students. One, a 2012 graduate, in a tragic accident and one, a junior to be, to a suicide. It has been tough for students, parents and teachers. Very tough.

In my role as a teacher, I try my hardest to be there for my students in good times and in bad. I believe this is just as important to them (and me) as effectiveness in the classroom. I know I'm not alone. I have surrounded myself with colleagues and friends in the profession who I know do and believe the same thing.

When tragedies occur in our school system, parents and teachers work together to make sure our students make it through the emotional struggle with the help they need. We give our best effort to help our students cope.

Now, here's the parallel between these two seemingly unrelated things... Those in need of care are the "dishes." The caretakers are the "sinks."

Caretakers must be taken care of too. If you are a caretaker, remember you are just as vulnerable, just as emotional, just as human as those whom you care for. Ask for help or accept it when offered. If you know a caretaker, offer encouragement, a shoulder or an ear. It will be appreciated.

 

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

No More Going Through the Motions

As I was driving in to work this morning listening to music from the local Christian rock station, Matthew West's song "The Motions" came on. I never heard it before, but it spoke to me immediately.

I want to "be better" in this life for lots of reasons, as I'm sure you do too. This chart from 2009 sums up where I am right now, what I'm thinking, and where I'm hoping to be.

This is my new theme song. See if it speaks you the same way, too.


Matthew West, "The Motions"

This might hurt, it's not safe
But I know that I've gotta make a change
I don't care if I break
At least I'll be feeling something

‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking
What if I had given everything 
Instead of going through the motions?

No regrets, not this time
I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind 
Let Your love make me whole
I think I'm finally feeling something

‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

‘Cause I don't wanna go through the motions 
I don't wanna go one more day
Without your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking 
What if I had given everything 
Instead of going through the motions?

Take me all the way
(Take me all the way)
Take me all the way
(‘Cause I don't wanna go through the motions)

Take me all the way
(Lord, I'm finally feeling something real)
Take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking 
What if I had given everything 
Instead of going through the motions?

I don't wanna go through the motions
I don't wanna go one more day
Without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking 
What if I had given everything 
Instead of going through the motions?
Take me all the way
(Take me all the way)
Take me all the way
(I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go)

Take me all the way
(Through the motions)
Take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

A Personal Look at Turning 40


So I recently turned 40. Like most middle age birthdays that end in a zero, this one got me thinking about life and how I'm living it.

I really don't feel different... my warranty period still seems to be in effect: parts and pieces are still working well enough, thank you very much. No, what is different this time around is what is happening between my ears.

I've been reading more, thanks to a growing interest in personal development fed by book and blog reading, writing, Twitter, Facebook, and friends. This perspective is a great thing, since milestones like a 40th birthday take on new meaning when viewed through the lens of life's journey.

The average life expectancy in the United States is 77.97 years. By my calculations, I am about half way through my tour on planet earth. A lot has happened since my birth, of course, all of which has led me to where I am now. You are in the same boat, too. We are all a sum of our experiences and choices.

As I look ahead to the next 40 years, I am excited! When I think back on my life thus far, 40 years is a long time. A good chunk of it was spent just getting up to full speed in life and learning about living better.

Now that I'm moving rapidly down the road (passing milestones along the way), I have a better idea of what I want for me and those whom I love, I have many positive relationships in place, and I have a clear(ish) vision for my future. The pieces are in place! Time to ramp up and soar!   

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Are You An Energy Sucker?

Are you an energy giver or taker?

I had my hair cut today. Rather than wait for the stylist to start conversation like usual, I began with a simple "how are you today?" What ensued was a 15 minute discussion detailing much of what was wrong in her life at present: two family members in the hospital, a manager that treats his employees poorly, and a slow work day were just some of the highlights. I wanted to leave.

I believe we can sense when we are with someone who is environmentally energizing or someone who is de-energizing. We are naturally attracted to people who are vivacious, bubbly, engaging, smart, interested and giving. Similarly, if we ARE those people, others are drawn to us.

Think about a bank. At its simplest, you walk up to teller and either make a withdrawal or a deposit. Challenge yourself to move throughout your day conscious of whether you're withdrawing or depositing into the emotional and energy banks of people around you. And just like investing, the returns usually take time to be realized.

In my afternoon high school concert band rehearsals lately, I prod my students -- many of whom have sat passively in other classes for a good part of the day -- to use their instruments to send vibrant sound energy and personality into the room. I tell them that they are either adding or subtracting to the environment, so work to add positively to the room. My request has yet to fail in creating a better sound and better results!

So it is with emotional energy as well. You have the choice. Make the investment and choose wisely!

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Being Out of the Box, Part 3

As we close the "miniseries" on the great work by the Arbinger Institute, the thoughts below detail how we can stay out of the box and help to invite positive change in others.

Our way of being rules over all.

What do we mean by "way of being"? In fact, it means the way of being with others, the way we are in relationship. Human beings are social beings, and we know ourselves in comparison with and through the eyes of others. Our "self-image" is really a "self-image-in-relationship-with-others."

As I've pointed out in a prevoius post, there are two ways of seeing others: as persons (out of the box), or as objects (in the box).

  • As persons: we see people as persons when we recognize their uniqueness just like ours, with their flaws and qualities, just like ours, with desires, hopes, doubts and concerns, just like ours - in short, when we acknowledge all the richness of their humanity.
  • As objects: we see people as objects when we "de-personalize" them, for example when we reduce them to a category (an American, an Arab, a Rich), to a role (a Customer, a Clerk, a Politician), or just to a quality (a Jerk, a Snob, an Inconsiderate Neighbor). There are three ways of seeing a person as object: as an obstacle ("my Needy Husband is making my life a burden!"), as a vehicle ("this Client will hopefully sign the contract and make me rich."), or as an irrelevancy ("I never bothered talking to this Idiot...").
Staying out of the box

If you think about it, you are most likely not "in the box" with everyone you know. Probably one of the most effective ways to climb out of the box is to reflect on how you relate to people you know you appreciate and see as people, and try hard to transfer that mindset to others that you struggle with. Continually being aware of how you interact with people is key.

I recently had separate discussions with two students who were at odds with each other... it happens in the band room from time to time. I asked each how they thought the other perceived them. After getting some good honest answers (not nice, overbearing, inconsiderate), I asked if those adjectives were accurate to how they thought of themselves. Of course, the answer was no. We then briefly discussed why the other would think the way they do. It was a round-about way of showing them that they were in the box toward each other.

After we identified issues of conflict, I asked each to list some qualities about the other that they admired. Each was again honest (hard working, generous, funny). To tie things up, I challenged each student to think of those things they admired about the other during future interactions. When I follow up soon, hopefully, there will be some positive movement in their relationship!

Inviting change in others


If we think about it, we cannot make people change; we can only invite them to change. They decide, in the end, whether they accept the invitation.

We focus on "correcting what's wrong"...

Dealing with what is going wrong is to focus on the problem we see in others - it means correcting, criticizing, fixing, disciplining, punishing, etc. Does it often work when you tell someone he should be different? Have you often changed after someone told you how wrong you were?

 

Sometimes yes, you might say. But it's likely that most of the time, it doesn't work. What to do then? Well in my experience, we tend to keep trying harder, louder, longer, hoping that one day, he will get it!

That's the classic pattern, and that's how conflicts tend to get entrenched.

...And forget to "help things go right"

There is nothing wrong about wanting others to change, but if "dealing with what's going wrong" doesn't work, it is usually because we have been doing it at the expense of helping things go right. As the pyramid diagram shows, in order to invite change, helping things go right is the biggest part of the work. There are several parts to it, and that's where we need to spend most of our time and energy.

In simple terms, it is to say that we have more chance to invite change in someone if we approach her without resentment, if we have built a relationship with her and her friends/family, if we have listened and learnt from her, and if we explain clearly the change we want to invite. Is that really surprising?

If it doesn't work, look deeper

The secret of the Peacemaking Pyramid is that it prompts us to look for solutions to a problem at a deeper level than the one the problem seems to be at. The answer to a problem at one level of the pyramid lies at the level below.

  • If my attempts to correct you fail, I need to look at the way I am communicating and explaining what I want - am I being clear? Am I giving a consistent rationale for what I want?
  • If my communicating and teaching fail, I need to look at my listening and learning from you. There is little chance you will listen to my teaching if I don't even try to understand your perspective. If your concerns are not included in my understanding of the situation, why would you listen to me?
  • Even if I'm open to listen to your concerns, you may not bother share them with me if you don't like or respect me. I then need to focus on building a stronger relationship with you, it's a necessary condition.
  • It is possible that my attempts to influence you are unsuccessful not because you are closed, but because you have people with influence around you (parents, friends, co-workers, etc.) pushing you in the other direction. I may need to also build a relationship with people around you, in order to make them part of the change too, or their influence will be too strong for you to swim against the current.
  • If you are not receptive to my influence in spite of all the above conditions being met, something more fundamental might be missing. Of course, it can be that you just don't like the change I invite in you. But it can also be that I am not inviting it from a deep desire to help you, in which case you may be defensive against my deeper intentions. I therefore need to look at my "way of being:" do I really come to you with a heart at peace? Let's explore this point in more depth in the following section.

Our "Way of being" colors the world

The first and most fundamental step for helping things go right is to obtain a heart at peace. It is not so much the actions we take that invite war, but the way we are while taking them. The same action can be done from a heart at peace or a heart at war. Inviting the other to change with a heart at war, even if you are right about the thing to change, is likely to provoke a defensive reaction. If the dishes need to be done and you are nagged to do them because you are focused on another task you deem more important, your natural tendency is to eventally do the dishes, but perhaps with resentment. Your heart is at war with the person who nagged.


What determines which way we see someone? Simply, our choice.

I cannot more strongly recommend The Anatomy of Peace to you. When you truly want to dig deeper and work to become a better person, this book will be a wonderful, effective jumping-off point.



 

Friday, December 21, 2012

10 "R's" of Effective Teachers

Recently a student and I were having a casual conversation in my office. Mark and I were visiting when out of the blue, he asks me, "Mr. Gerth, how do you teach?"

"What do you mean?" I asked. "How can I work with teenagers every day?"

Laughing, he replied, "Naw, you know, how are you able to get us to do what we do?"

How do I do what I do to get my students to learn? Man, that's a deep question. We talked for awhile about how important it is for teachers to build relationships and to connect with students, to manage the classroom well, to prepare for each class, etc.

As we were talking, it got me thinking about universal things I think all effective teachers do. There are shelves of books written about the topic of effective teaching (a great place to start would be to pick up anything written by Harry Wong). Since this wasn't the first time I've gotten this line of questioning from current or former students, I figure I should put some of my thoughts on paper. Here it goes in no particular order...

1. Effective teachers are selfless.
Teaching is a selfless art form. The hours are long, the perks aren't great and the clientele can be difficult to work with sometimes. However, there is intense reliance on teachers by students and their families to provide the absolute best possible product (an educated, trained mind) that they can. There can be no room for ego in the production of bright minds. "I" and "me" has no place in effective teaching.

2. Effective teachers are teachers first, specialists second.
When it comes down to it, a master teacher can teach nearly anything. If he or she can relate to his or her students and knows enough to prepare ahead of time, s/he will be successful. For example, I've witnessed master music teachers create great results in the English classroom when called upon. Effectively relaying content and creating understanding is a universal aspect of great teaching.

3. Effective teachers are learners.


As Socrates said, "The more I learn, the more I learn how little I know." Effective teachers understand that there is always another way, and perhaps a better way to teach something. The Twitterverse, for example, is brimming with fantastic educators willing to share insight and thought provoking content ripe for the picking. Books by our generation's deep thinkers and those of past generations are but a mouse click away from our Kindle, iPad or smartphone. Effective teachers seek out help from others (and help others) to become better at what they do.

4. Effective teachers surround themselves with positive, honest people. In turn, THEY are honest, positive people.
There's no denying that effective teachers need positive support. They also know that there is no time to deal with negativity or dishonesty in their professional lives. When it tries to creep in from time to time, great teachers know it when they see it, however, and quickly dodge it's influence.

5. Effective teachers are fantastic listeners.
This is a page right out of the Covey "Seven Habits" play book. Effective teachers know that whether they are in a room of professional peers or among their students, there is much more to be gained by sharing the dialogue and seeking to understand different points of view before contributing their thoughts.

6. Effective teachers are prepared for any eventuality.
This one takes time to develop. Master teachers have, over the course of time, developed a deep bag of tricks that they can go to when plan A, B, C and maybe D have not worked to deal with a situation. The bag's depth is proportional to the teachers real world experience and desire to learn (see #3 above.)

7. Effective teachers are able to meet students where they are.
Great teachers continually assess their students and determine the best courses of action to move them from one place to another. They know their job is not to assume anything about what each student knows, but rather to determine what their students need and give them as much as they can to meet those needs (see #6).

8. Effective teachers are communicators.
Education is a team effort. Great teachers answer parent emails in a timely fashion, follow up with phone messages as soon as they are able, and send notes and messages home proactively informing parents of upcoming events, celebrating achievements, and/or expressing concern. If you want to immediately become more effective as a teacher, resolve to become a better communicator.

9. Effective teachers are balanced.
I'm going out on a limb here, but I believe that truly great teachers understand that teaching is what they do, not who they are. Sure great teachers are always thinking about being better and finding ways of reaching their students, but I think they understand that being one dimensional is not the best way to operate.

I was walking through the hall of our middle school last winter and stopped at a poster display introducing several of that school's faculty to students. I was amazed at the varied interests of these teachers: white water rafting, sky diving, running, painting and cooking were among those that these teachers listed. Keeping a balanced life to effective teachers means following their own passions outside of the classroom too!

10. Effective teachers are relationship builders.
Without the ability to create a safe, trusting classroom environment, teachers will fail at effectiveness. Positive, strong relationships

As a high school band director, I don't know where I would be if it weren't for parent volunteers and administrative support! These folks have saved my bacon over the years. Not only do effective teachers build great relationships with their students, they create relationships with parents who volunteer in the classroom, chaperone trips and help in many other ways. They also have solid professional relationships with the folks managing the front office, the custodians, board members, principals and of course, other teachers.

There are many other things that you probably think I've missed. I'd like to hear from you! What more are effective teachers?



Sunday, December 16, 2012

Being Out of the Box, Part 2

Choices, choices, choices. Paper or plastic? Left or right? Chocolate or vanilla? Cash or credit? Every day we are confronted with hundreds, if not thousands of choices. Many of them are as inconsequential as choosing to cross our legs when we sit down. Yet others can move us from simply existing to transcending. As Albert Camus once said, "We are the sum of our choices." How true!

As I wrote in the first part of this series, according to the Arbinger Institute's fantastic books The Anatomy of Peace and Leadership and Self Deception, we are "in the box" toward others when we see them as objects in the way of our goals or plans. When we fail to see the humanity in others, we dehumanize (objectify) them, elevating ourselves in importance. In the process, consequently, we dehumanize ourselves as well.

We move into the box when we make a choice that goes against our sense of what is right, just or decent. This is called "Self betrayal." Imagine this scenario for example: you are walking down a busy street in a large city. On the corner ahead, you see a homeless pan handler and feel a momentary twang of pity. Immediately following that twang, however, you think of ways to ignore him, perhaps quickening your pace. As you walk by, you avoid eye contact. You pretend to be busy doing something on your smart phone, or simply look the other way.

How are you seeing that man? As a down and out person who may have had a recently rough life and could use a smile or a hand? No. He has been objectified as something to ignore. This is where the box comes into play. In order for us to feel OK with ignoring the homeless in this example, we betray our natural prediliction to help and begin to justify our behavior... "I'm in a hurry." "I don't have any money to spare." "I don't want to be seen as a soft touch." "Maybe he would attack me." "He would only buy drugs or alcohol with the money!" You see my point.

All of a sudden, though, we have dehumanized him in order to be comfortable with our choice. We had an opportunity to respond to our natural sense of decency, but chose to deny it. In justifying our behavior, we are "in the box" toward him.

To draw a parallel with another book, in Stephen Covey's "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" he relates the following story:

"One day on the subway, while quietly reading a book, I was interrupted by two wild children that got on with their father at a subway stop.

"The children were out of control, jumping up and down, running loudly through the subway car.

"The father seemed not to notice or care that his children were misbehaving and disturbing commuters…

"I approached the father and wanted to scold him for not controlling his children and teaching them respect for others…

The father agreed, and sighed sullenly, saying “yeah, I just don’t know what to do or say to them. We just came from the hospital where their mother died from a random assault….”

Hearing this story immediately changed Stephen’s paradigm of the children and the situation. He went on to explore this and counsel the man who had lost his wife.

When relating to peers in the workplace, students at school, or family members at home, it is important to our effectiveness that we do what we can to avoid seeing others as objects.

How will we be able to do this? Part three in this series will address the suggestions that the Arbinger Institute makes to pull us out of our boxes (and keep us out!)

 

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Others

Around the turn of the last century, William Booth, the Founder of The Salvation Army, then very old, was preparing to send his annual Christmas message to the volunteers of that humanitarian organization around the world. In those days, communication was by telegraph, and you paid for each word that you sent. Booth thought long and hard about what would motivate the Salvationists and encapsulate the mission of the group. Since the Army was short on money, William Booth could only afford to send a one-word telegram to outposts around the world. 

That word was "OTHERS."

We are heading head-long into the Christmas Season. For many people in the developed world, it's a season of spending and gift giving. Commercialism of this season is at an all time high, and it seems as though when we don't think it can get any worse, the next year tops it. (How many of you began your Black Friday Christmas shopping this year on the evening of Thanksgiving Day?)

There is another way of looking at giving during the season of Christmas, of course. On December 25th we celebrate the birth of Jesus, God's Son, and a Man who gave us the ultimate gift: the gift of eternal life through his own death and resurrection. He bore the weight of our sin so that we may enter into the Kingdom of Heaven one day.

Did this gift come at a monetary cost? Of course not. Many times, the best and most meaningful gifts don't cost a penny. Giving to OTHERS our time and talents costs us nothing, yet can be more valuable to the recipient than any piece of technology or shiny bauble.

The beauty of giving of ourselves is that we can do it over and over again and not be any closer to bankruptcy. Quite to the contrary. As long as you have something of value internally to give to another person, you are rich. The more you give, the more you will receive!

I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to volunteer for several years in my teens at a nursing home near where I grew up. I still fondly recall my time helping the residents of St. Anne's Hospice. Now that I am nearly 40 and looking back on them, the value to my character and maturation was clear. My three children will have the same opportunity I had. You can take that to the bank.

This Christmas, look for opportunities to give to others the immeasurable gifts of your time and talent. Being better in life is not a one-sided endeavor. Just imagine the possibilities when you give away that which you have in abundance and of which will never run out!

I'd love to hear from you. What are some of the ways you have given of yourself? How did the experience affect you? If you have a Twitter account, please consider following me and/or use the hashtag #Others when tweeting your ideas.

More to come, but in the meantime, Happy Holidays!