Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Live With Integrity: Trust Your Gut

I've learned that to ignore the still, small voice -- of logic, conscience, or whatever you may call it -- inside of me is a Bad idea. Too many times have I pretended that a decision that I made was the right one when all along my gut was telling me otherwise.

Moreover, marginalizing that still, small voice and delaying a decision is usually just as difficult as making the wrong decision. In my career as an educator, I have procrastinated making a phone call or sending an email because the results could be painful. If only I could bottle the feeling of relief after resolving conflict. That would indeed be a valuable and potent elixir. One swig would remind me that to take care of a problem quickly and with integrity is nothing to fear.

My "gut" and I had our first professional "run-in" about 15 years ago. I was running a university summer music camp that had clearly defined rules and regulations that governed student behavior. During the first night of the week-long camp, two campers chose to break the rules. The following morning, it was my responsibility to call their parents and tell them to return to the university, pick them up, and take them home without the refund of several hundred dollars each. The plot thickened, as one of these two was the daughter of a university regent. For the sake of the other campers, I took swift and decisive action and trusted my gut. Luckily, the result was anything but painful. The parents understood, the campers went home, and my sense of relief is still memorable.

Some of us deal with important and difficult decisions every day in our profession. If not there, our personal lives are full of decisions that need us to be honest and forthright because they can -- and do -- affect other people.

What I found over time, though, is that confronting a decision and trusting my still, small voice has resulted in better outcomes than I could hope for.

Whether or not a decision was ultimately right or wrong, if I have made it based on integrity and/or my best intentions, I know that I will be more comfortable with dealing with any possible, difficult aftermath -- I have moral ground upon which to stand.

What is your still, small voice saying to you? Trust it.

 

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Share, Share and Share Some More!


I was just recently thinking... Why keep what I learn from personal development books, blogs, articles and quotes to myself in the workplace? While it's true I post things on Twitter and Facebook quite a bit, and have found a lot to both read now and save for the future, there is a whole community of students and educators (in my case) that are not a part of my little connected universe.

If the information I come across is interesting or important to me, there's a better than even chance that those with whom I work and are in my “in person” circle will find value in it too.

The director of my church choir pauses about 2/3 the way through most rehearsals and reads to the group. Sometimes it's from the Bible, other times it's from a text that reflects the season of the church year. A choir rehearsal suddenly becomes more than a music practice. We pause to listen and reflect on a common theme and are drawn together by the importance of the purpose our music serves.

Why not do this in a meeting? A classroom? With an email? Perhaps on a break from business we can shift gears and share a thought or two that has come from some of our recent learning and reading. Could that be a better use our influence in a conference room, classroom or boardroom to transcend what we currently do?

I've been sharing more on Facebook lately as well as Twitter. Each place has different kinds of connections for me. Twitter is a place where I am connected to thinkers, educators and leadership pros. Facebook is where family, friends, colleagues and former and present students are. Two different audiences, yes, but both can (and do) express thanks for an occasional item I find and post. Your connections anywhere can benefit by what you are learning.

As online, the worst thing that could happen to you by sharing what you're learning in person is that you're ignored. No problem, though. Through even my limited experience I have found that “putting it out there” is far and away better than not. The chances of someone being enlightened by something you've not shared is zero anyway!

If you have it (and you probably do if you're reading this), your fire to learn and be better was kindled sometime in the past. Perhaps you don't recall when it was that you became interested in personal development. What could be the chances that a three minute summary of what you've read recently at your next sales meeting be the presentation that lights a fire in someone else to learn more about being better people and professionals?

There are side benefits, too. If this becomes part of your culture in the workplace, you'll read even more so you can share even more. Further, digesting and processing what you're reading so that you can “teach others” means you'll store the information differently in your head and retain it better.

When done with planning and intentionality – on purpose, on point and sincere – you may very well be surprised at the results!  

Sunday, January 6, 2013

To Tweet or Not to Tweet. There is No Question!


I like Twitter. I like it a lot.

I created a Twitter account over a year ago, and have to admit that I signed up not really knowing what it was about. For a long time never used it. I used Facebook quite a bit over the past few years to be social online, but Twitter had never really made my radar.

Why Jayson, you may (or may not) be asking, wouldn't you be more involved in this magical world called the "Twitterverse" by the "Tweeple" who inhabit it?

The Boring Back Story
Well, I wasn't sure I needed another social outlet to obsess over, and I'm sure my wife felt the same way. (There was an unholy obsession with “Mafia Wars” for a time, and I am sorry to say there was too much time spent collecting “friends” I had never met who shared my passion for pretend criminal activity.)

Thank heavens I resisted the temptation of Farmville.

Flash forward to November 2012. I was asked to write a guest blog post for the Simpson College Music Department's web page, and I happily obliged. I enjoyed doing it and received positive feedback. That experience led me to begin my own blog (you're reading it now!), and like any good, technologically savvy American, I did research about how best to write a blog, how to get it out to the masses to read and how to get ideas about which to write. It was clear after some poking around that Twitter was a social networking medium that had a track record of providing just these benefits.

I took the plunge just before Thanksgiving 2012, and as of early January 2013, I can honestly say that, yep, Twitter is awesome.

How I Use Twitter...
… may not be how you might use it. I know of many (most often) younger people who use it to create a running diary of their life or use it as a way to dialogue with friends. As a professional and educator, this use for twitter is of no interest to me.

In my view, Twitter is the single best way for me to harness the power of the internet for professional development.

You will easily find thousands and thousands of people using Twitter for this very same purpose, and there are many free resources online that will help you understand how easy it is to get to these people.

My blog, Being Better Today, focuses on personal development. I have found hundreds of people on Twitter willing to share links they have found, quotes, ideas and blogs about this topic. Can I read everything? Of course not. But among the many links thrown my way daily, there are always one or two that grab my attention and get read. I'm learning... and growing... and sharing... and helping.

I am a professional music educator. On Twitter, there are many more hundreds of music educators, music organizations, school principals, district superintendents and curriculum wonks I follow (and who are kind enough to follow me) from around the world. These folks share their online finds and personal knowledge to anyone who cares to read it. It is truly fantastic! My Twitter feed is full of expert thoughts on music technology, teaching pedagogy, educational research and more. Truly passionate teachers contribute to their Twitter following, and I'm proud to be a part of that company!

To Tweet is to participate personally in a global conversation. How do YOU use Twitter? In my best teacher voice, “Please share with the group.”

Oh, and if you'd like to follow me, the link is on the right. I'd love to learn with you!

My favorite Twitter hashtags:
#personaldevelopment
#motivation
#inspiration
#musedchat
#edchat

Short list of my favorite Tweeple to follow if you're just getting started:
@LollyDaskal (leadership, self improvement)
@MichaelHyatt (leadership)
@Scott_Watson (music education)
@AngelaMaiers (leadership, education)
@pisanojm (education and technology)
@mcleod (education)
@garyloper (using twitter, inspiration)

Sunday, December 30, 2012

Great Leadership Read: Wooden, by John Wooden

If you crack open the mind of the 20th Century's best athletic coach and dump its 90-plus years of living and teaching experience into a book, what you have is the best 160+ pages of inspiration and instruction you will read in a very long time.

Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court by Coach John Wooden and Steve Jamison is a quick and easy read because it is divided up into small sections of plain spoken, honest thoughts about living, teaching, coaching and leading.

It's a "cut through the bull and babble" book that should be required reading for anyone who wants to be better at what they do.

My copy of The book is dog eared like CRAZY!
I recently finished the book, and rarely has a book ended up with so many dog-eared pages and highlighted lines of text! It's a small book in form factor; easy to carry around, and certainly easy enough to hold a prominent place on my "frequently gone-to" books.


For those of you unaware, John Wooden was the head coach of the UCLA Men's Basketball team from 1948 to 1975. He is the winningest basketball coach of all time, has the record for most consecutive wins (88, breaking the previous record of 36), and has the record for the most NCAA Basketball Championships (10, with 7 in a row).

Lessons learned from his father: never lie, never cheat, never steal, don't whine, don't complain and don't make excuses were the foundation of his philosophy of living.

From there, the book unfolds and the themes of very hard work, meticulous preparation, attention to detail, and controlling all you are able quickly emerges. Narry a page goes by without a reference to hard work or doing one's best.

Coach Wooden expected nothing less than the best from himself and those on his teams. His philosophy of success in any endeavor can be summed up this way: if you do your absolute best, and you know that there was nothing you could have done to prepare any better, it makes no difference the outcome of the contest. You will have succeeded.

 

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Being Out of the Box, Part 3

As we close the "miniseries" on the great work by the Arbinger Institute, the thoughts below detail how we can stay out of the box and help to invite positive change in others.

Our way of being rules over all.

What do we mean by "way of being"? In fact, it means the way of being with others, the way we are in relationship. Human beings are social beings, and we know ourselves in comparison with and through the eyes of others. Our "self-image" is really a "self-image-in-relationship-with-others."

As I've pointed out in a prevoius post, there are two ways of seeing others: as persons (out of the box), or as objects (in the box).

  • As persons: we see people as persons when we recognize their uniqueness just like ours, with their flaws and qualities, just like ours, with desires, hopes, doubts and concerns, just like ours - in short, when we acknowledge all the richness of their humanity.
  • As objects: we see people as objects when we "de-personalize" them, for example when we reduce them to a category (an American, an Arab, a Rich), to a role (a Customer, a Clerk, a Politician), or just to a quality (a Jerk, a Snob, an Inconsiderate Neighbor). There are three ways of seeing a person as object: as an obstacle ("my Needy Husband is making my life a burden!"), as a vehicle ("this Client will hopefully sign the contract and make me rich."), or as an irrelevancy ("I never bothered talking to this Idiot...").
Staying out of the box

If you think about it, you are most likely not "in the box" with everyone you know. Probably one of the most effective ways to climb out of the box is to reflect on how you relate to people you know you appreciate and see as people, and try hard to transfer that mindset to others that you struggle with. Continually being aware of how you interact with people is key.

I recently had separate discussions with two students who were at odds with each other... it happens in the band room from time to time. I asked each how they thought the other perceived them. After getting some good honest answers (not nice, overbearing, inconsiderate), I asked if those adjectives were accurate to how they thought of themselves. Of course, the answer was no. We then briefly discussed why the other would think the way they do. It was a round-about way of showing them that they were in the box toward each other.

After we identified issues of conflict, I asked each to list some qualities about the other that they admired. Each was again honest (hard working, generous, funny). To tie things up, I challenged each student to think of those things they admired about the other during future interactions. When I follow up soon, hopefully, there will be some positive movement in their relationship!

Inviting change in others


If we think about it, we cannot make people change; we can only invite them to change. They decide, in the end, whether they accept the invitation.

We focus on "correcting what's wrong"...

Dealing with what is going wrong is to focus on the problem we see in others - it means correcting, criticizing, fixing, disciplining, punishing, etc. Does it often work when you tell someone he should be different? Have you often changed after someone told you how wrong you were?

 

Sometimes yes, you might say. But it's likely that most of the time, it doesn't work. What to do then? Well in my experience, we tend to keep trying harder, louder, longer, hoping that one day, he will get it!

That's the classic pattern, and that's how conflicts tend to get entrenched.

...And forget to "help things go right"

There is nothing wrong about wanting others to change, but if "dealing with what's going wrong" doesn't work, it is usually because we have been doing it at the expense of helping things go right. As the pyramid diagram shows, in order to invite change, helping things go right is the biggest part of the work. There are several parts to it, and that's where we need to spend most of our time and energy.

In simple terms, it is to say that we have more chance to invite change in someone if we approach her without resentment, if we have built a relationship with her and her friends/family, if we have listened and learnt from her, and if we explain clearly the change we want to invite. Is that really surprising?

If it doesn't work, look deeper

The secret of the Peacemaking Pyramid is that it prompts us to look for solutions to a problem at a deeper level than the one the problem seems to be at. The answer to a problem at one level of the pyramid lies at the level below.

  • If my attempts to correct you fail, I need to look at the way I am communicating and explaining what I want - am I being clear? Am I giving a consistent rationale for what I want?
  • If my communicating and teaching fail, I need to look at my listening and learning from you. There is little chance you will listen to my teaching if I don't even try to understand your perspective. If your concerns are not included in my understanding of the situation, why would you listen to me?
  • Even if I'm open to listen to your concerns, you may not bother share them with me if you don't like or respect me. I then need to focus on building a stronger relationship with you, it's a necessary condition.
  • It is possible that my attempts to influence you are unsuccessful not because you are closed, but because you have people with influence around you (parents, friends, co-workers, etc.) pushing you in the other direction. I may need to also build a relationship with people around you, in order to make them part of the change too, or their influence will be too strong for you to swim against the current.
  • If you are not receptive to my influence in spite of all the above conditions being met, something more fundamental might be missing. Of course, it can be that you just don't like the change I invite in you. But it can also be that I am not inviting it from a deep desire to help you, in which case you may be defensive against my deeper intentions. I therefore need to look at my "way of being:" do I really come to you with a heart at peace? Let's explore this point in more depth in the following section.

Our "Way of being" colors the world

The first and most fundamental step for helping things go right is to obtain a heart at peace. It is not so much the actions we take that invite war, but the way we are while taking them. The same action can be done from a heart at peace or a heart at war. Inviting the other to change with a heart at war, even if you are right about the thing to change, is likely to provoke a defensive reaction. If the dishes need to be done and you are nagged to do them because you are focused on another task you deem more important, your natural tendency is to eventally do the dishes, but perhaps with resentment. Your heart is at war with the person who nagged.


What determines which way we see someone? Simply, our choice.

I cannot more strongly recommend The Anatomy of Peace to you. When you truly want to dig deeper and work to become a better person, this book will be a wonderful, effective jumping-off point.



 

Friday, December 21, 2012

10 "R's" of Effective Teachers

Recently a student and I were having a casual conversation in my office. Mark and I were visiting when out of the blue, he asks me, "Mr. Gerth, how do you teach?"

"What do you mean?" I asked. "How can I work with teenagers every day?"

Laughing, he replied, "Naw, you know, how are you able to get us to do what we do?"

How do I do what I do to get my students to learn? Man, that's a deep question. We talked for awhile about how important it is for teachers to build relationships and to connect with students, to manage the classroom well, to prepare for each class, etc.

As we were talking, it got me thinking about universal things I think all effective teachers do. There are shelves of books written about the topic of effective teaching (a great place to start would be to pick up anything written by Harry Wong). Since this wasn't the first time I've gotten this line of questioning from current or former students, I figure I should put some of my thoughts on paper. Here it goes in no particular order...

1. Effective teachers are selfless.
Teaching is a selfless art form. The hours are long, the perks aren't great and the clientele can be difficult to work with sometimes. However, there is intense reliance on teachers by students and their families to provide the absolute best possible product (an educated, trained mind) that they can. There can be no room for ego in the production of bright minds. "I" and "me" has no place in effective teaching.

2. Effective teachers are teachers first, specialists second.
When it comes down to it, a master teacher can teach nearly anything. If he or she can relate to his or her students and knows enough to prepare ahead of time, s/he will be successful. For example, I've witnessed master music teachers create great results in the English classroom when called upon. Effectively relaying content and creating understanding is a universal aspect of great teaching.

3. Effective teachers are learners.


As Socrates said, "The more I learn, the more I learn how little I know." Effective teachers understand that there is always another way, and perhaps a better way to teach something. The Twitterverse, for example, is brimming with fantastic educators willing to share insight and thought provoking content ripe for the picking. Books by our generation's deep thinkers and those of past generations are but a mouse click away from our Kindle, iPad or smartphone. Effective teachers seek out help from others (and help others) to become better at what they do.

4. Effective teachers surround themselves with positive, honest people. In turn, THEY are honest, positive people.
There's no denying that effective teachers need positive support. They also know that there is no time to deal with negativity or dishonesty in their professional lives. When it tries to creep in from time to time, great teachers know it when they see it, however, and quickly dodge it's influence.

5. Effective teachers are fantastic listeners.
This is a page right out of the Covey "Seven Habits" play book. Effective teachers know that whether they are in a room of professional peers or among their students, there is much more to be gained by sharing the dialogue and seeking to understand different points of view before contributing their thoughts.

6. Effective teachers are prepared for any eventuality.
This one takes time to develop. Master teachers have, over the course of time, developed a deep bag of tricks that they can go to when plan A, B, C and maybe D have not worked to deal with a situation. The bag's depth is proportional to the teachers real world experience and desire to learn (see #3 above.)

7. Effective teachers are able to meet students where they are.
Great teachers continually assess their students and determine the best courses of action to move them from one place to another. They know their job is not to assume anything about what each student knows, but rather to determine what their students need and give them as much as they can to meet those needs (see #6).

8. Effective teachers are communicators.
Education is a team effort. Great teachers answer parent emails in a timely fashion, follow up with phone messages as soon as they are able, and send notes and messages home proactively informing parents of upcoming events, celebrating achievements, and/or expressing concern. If you want to immediately become more effective as a teacher, resolve to become a better communicator.

9. Effective teachers are balanced.
I'm going out on a limb here, but I believe that truly great teachers understand that teaching is what they do, not who they are. Sure great teachers are always thinking about being better and finding ways of reaching their students, but I think they understand that being one dimensional is not the best way to operate.

I was walking through the hall of our middle school last winter and stopped at a poster display introducing several of that school's faculty to students. I was amazed at the varied interests of these teachers: white water rafting, sky diving, running, painting and cooking were among those that these teachers listed. Keeping a balanced life to effective teachers means following their own passions outside of the classroom too!

10. Effective teachers are relationship builders.
Without the ability to create a safe, trusting classroom environment, teachers will fail at effectiveness. Positive, strong relationships

As a high school band director, I don't know where I would be if it weren't for parent volunteers and administrative support! These folks have saved my bacon over the years. Not only do effective teachers build great relationships with their students, they create relationships with parents who volunteer in the classroom, chaperone trips and help in many other ways. They also have solid professional relationships with the folks managing the front office, the custodians, board members, principals and of course, other teachers.

There are many other things that you probably think I've missed. I'd like to hear from you! What more are effective teachers?



Sunday, December 16, 2012

Being Out of the Box, Part 2

Choices, choices, choices. Paper or plastic? Left or right? Chocolate or vanilla? Cash or credit? Every day we are confronted with hundreds, if not thousands of choices. Many of them are as inconsequential as choosing to cross our legs when we sit down. Yet others can move us from simply existing to transcending. As Albert Camus once said, "We are the sum of our choices." How true!

As I wrote in the first part of this series, according to the Arbinger Institute's fantastic books The Anatomy of Peace and Leadership and Self Deception, we are "in the box" toward others when we see them as objects in the way of our goals or plans. When we fail to see the humanity in others, we dehumanize (objectify) them, elevating ourselves in importance. In the process, consequently, we dehumanize ourselves as well.

We move into the box when we make a choice that goes against our sense of what is right, just or decent. This is called "Self betrayal." Imagine this scenario for example: you are walking down a busy street in a large city. On the corner ahead, you see a homeless pan handler and feel a momentary twang of pity. Immediately following that twang, however, you think of ways to ignore him, perhaps quickening your pace. As you walk by, you avoid eye contact. You pretend to be busy doing something on your smart phone, or simply look the other way.

How are you seeing that man? As a down and out person who may have had a recently rough life and could use a smile or a hand? No. He has been objectified as something to ignore. This is where the box comes into play. In order for us to feel OK with ignoring the homeless in this example, we betray our natural prediliction to help and begin to justify our behavior... "I'm in a hurry." "I don't have any money to spare." "I don't want to be seen as a soft touch." "Maybe he would attack me." "He would only buy drugs or alcohol with the money!" You see my point.

All of a sudden, though, we have dehumanized him in order to be comfortable with our choice. We had an opportunity to respond to our natural sense of decency, but chose to deny it. In justifying our behavior, we are "in the box" toward him.

To draw a parallel with another book, in Stephen Covey's "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People" he relates the following story:

"One day on the subway, while quietly reading a book, I was interrupted by two wild children that got on with their father at a subway stop.

"The children were out of control, jumping up and down, running loudly through the subway car.

"The father seemed not to notice or care that his children were misbehaving and disturbing commuters…

"I approached the father and wanted to scold him for not controlling his children and teaching them respect for others…

The father agreed, and sighed sullenly, saying “yeah, I just don’t know what to do or say to them. We just came from the hospital where their mother died from a random assault….”

Hearing this story immediately changed Stephen’s paradigm of the children and the situation. He went on to explore this and counsel the man who had lost his wife.

When relating to peers in the workplace, students at school, or family members at home, it is important to our effectiveness that we do what we can to avoid seeing others as objects.

How will we be able to do this? Part three in this series will address the suggestions that the Arbinger Institute makes to pull us out of our boxes (and keep us out!)